My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
