its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
