I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
