I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
It's not a walk of shame if you run
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
