Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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