I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
