walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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