why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
