Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
