We're facebook friends in real life
Non-Jews are for practice
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Randomize
