Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
