This is not my ceiling
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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