I think I died a long time ago.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
