So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
