worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
