just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
