Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just found puke in my bra..
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
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