Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
