i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
