how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
and you fell through a lawn chair
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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