i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
