And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
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I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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