I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
