I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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