is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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