I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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