Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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