why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
