I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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