break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
oh god the rape fog is back!
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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