drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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