please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
