And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
