i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
