if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
do herpes really smell.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
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Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
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My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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