i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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