Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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