Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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