There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
