we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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