You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
