The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize