I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
i've created a new STD.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
