not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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