If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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