You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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