Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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