I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
