You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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