After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
there is puke in my bra ... again
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