People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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