My room smells like vodka and shame
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
this hospital has no fireball
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
