Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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