laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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