If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Redeem this text for a blowjob
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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