dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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