His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
