do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
