His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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