Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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