the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
