Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
